Updated: Sep 7
We have this fear of judgment instilled in us because it's happened to us; we all have been judged negatively and when it happened, it didn't feel good. In fact, it felt so bad that we never want to feel that way again. So what do we do? We stop taking risks. We stop putting ourselves out there. We start coming up with excuses for why we can’t pursue our business ideas.
“I’m just not good at marketing on social media, I don’t have that personality” or “I don’t know if I can thrive being my own boss, I’m barely meeting deadlines as it is.”
But the reality is that the fear of being judged is only a belief because you don't know if you're going to be judged or not. And even if somebody were to judge you, you can't control that. You cannot control 7 billion+ people's judgment. You have to remind yourself that they have nothing to do with your life. They don't pay your bills with their judgments. And yes, obviously you need to find your clientele, you know the ones who will actually pay you money so you can pay your bills, however, those clients come regardless of others' judgment. Stop focusing on how to cast your net as wide as possible and worrying about what you will actually catch and therefore how you will be judged as a fisherman. Start thinking of the exact fish you want to catch and the exact method it takes to catch that fish. By this point you’ve stopped worrying what kind of fisherman people will “think” you are. Not with me yet 100%?! Here is a statistic that has really helped me over the years.
I love this ratio that I learned two years ago:
33.3% of people will like you.
33.3% of people won't know what to do with you.
33.3% of people can't stand you.
It’s something that you can’t do anything about. You just focus on the 33.3% of people that like you and then move on.
Everyone's entitled to their opinion, don’t let the belief that you’re going to be judged stop you from pursuing your business idea. You need to figure out where the belief comes from because it's there for a reason, you will identify with being unworthy and you’re going to feel judged until you figure out where that comes from. That is a roadblock for all us because it makes us afraid to show up for the 33.3% of people who are kind and do like us, and do want to hear what we have to say. They are the only ones that matter.
So if we let our fear of being judged by people who don’t know us or believe in us (I know some of you have family members that are very judgmental) hold us back from showing up whether that is on social media, or it’s networking at an event, or it’s going to the front desk and asking to speak with the manager; we won’t ever get anywhere with our businesses and ultimately we miss out on designing a life we love, all because we worried about something we cannot control, instead of focusing on what we can. I am part of your 33.3% tribe and I'm standing up in the back clapping for you, because I believe in you and that people's opinions don't pay your bills. Clap with me now if you agree.
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